What the Funk

05 Feb 2011 Leave a Comment

by welandscape in life

I am SO sick of this winter. Every time I think I am pulling myself out of this winter funk depression I fall right back into it.  It’s like a hiding hole in the ground…. a trap set up for me to walk right into.  Blindsided I end up weeping in the aisles of TJ Maxx for no damn reason.  Okay maybe not weeping, but seriously getting bummed out.

School is going well.  My previous frustrations with Chemistry in Biology still stand, but I think I’m getting better.  I feel confident about it and my goal is to make the dean’s list.  All I need is to keep my GPA above a 3.0 (which it is already) and I should be in.  I am unbelievably irritated at the all new ‘Environmental Technology’ program they keep advertising.  Revamped and full of wonderful classes for the nations fastest growing major.  Yeah… that’d be great and all if five of the classes that are required to graduate with that degree were offered.  I’ve written five e-mails to various faculty and administrators expressing my concern.  In order to get an Associates in Science degree there is a detailed course listing.  They are required in order to get the AS degree otherwise you’re looking at an Associate in Arts which is less technical and not as coveted.  Five of those courses haven’t been offered in over a year and a half.  How are these students supposed to get this wonderful program degree you keep bragging about?? hmm??? Anyway, I finally got an answer from the college president and she said she’d forward the message to somebody else.  Not really an answer if you ask me. 

I still feel like I’m missing important connections in my life.  My friends are here, but not really because they don’t live nearby and the ones that do aren’t really that close of friends.  I keep trying to make connections and plans with people but they never seem to pan out.  It usually ends up being “yes, lets definitely get together! I’ll call you next week with my schedule!” and then I never hear anything.  It’s frustrating, and lonely.    Relationship wise is similar situations.  The people that are interested are no longer my type… (they once were though, and boy I would have been in romance heaven if that was still the case)… they are just heading down completely different paths than I am.  I’m looking for somebody who can offer me more than what I’ve experienced before. A future maybe, a job would be nice to have in a partner although I can’t be too critical on that one considering I just lost mine.  I don’t know… maybe I’m being picky now but I think it’s good.  It’s keeping me from settling just so I don’t have to be lonely. I am, however, lonely.  Valentine’s day doesn’t really help with that matter.  It’s singles awareness day, and all the love and gushy stuff are going right over my head.  I’m trying my best to keep my head down and not notice the hearts plastered all over everything.

I’m exhausted lately.  Depression sign numero uno I think… at least for me.  I’m not doing much, gym, school, volunteer, it’s a lot but not for me.  I’m used to doing all those things plus working full time so I don’t understand why I’m so drained all the time.  My nutrition is great so I can’t use that as an excuse anymore either.  I don’t really know what’s going on so I’m just going to chalk it up to winter blues. 

I’m going to go clean/organize something, hopefully that will make me feel better and if I don’t hear from Crystal about the gym by 3:30pm I’m going alone!!!! Thanks for tuning in to the Aimee rant hour <3