Monday’s To-Do List

1. Feed Puck
2. Take Puck for a walk
3. tear & divide sale signs
4. Breakfast!
5. Post Office
6. Bank
7. Gold’s Gym (Cancel)
8. College Gym (get info – free for students?)
9. Lab Homework
10. Math Homework
11. Environmental Science reading
12. Dishes
13. Laundry
14. Take Puck on a Hike!
15. Call consignment shop
16. go through clothes/purge
17. Follow up on SCA application
18. Organize school binders
19. Class 5-8:20pm
20. Update Blog for first time in MONTHS.
21. Get mail from in-law’s house
22. pay NSTAR bill
23. Take Puck on another walk in Ryder woods
24. unsubscribe from ridiculous e-mails i receive daily
25. Pay Auto Insurance Bill
26. Mail certified letter to gym cancelling membership – POSTMARK TODAY
27. Grocery store

6A in Barnstable is starting to look like this:

Crocuses everywhere!

I guess that’s it for now… oh yeah…

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Today is the Full Worm Moon and my farmers almanac calendar brings me a delightful little quote.

“We are all worms, but I believe I am a glowworm.”

                    ~ Winston Churchill, English statesman (1874-1965)

He looks like an old devil doesn’t he? Sly little smirk that carries him in a different manner than the rest of mankind. I admire it.

“Character – the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life – is the source from which self-respect springs.”

~ Joan Didion, novelist, essayist and screenwriter

Here are the pictures I said I was going to post yesterday.  I’m also including a few more of my walks because I don’t know if I’ve already done so.

Enjoy!

My Peat Pots on the window sill and my car… and a dead deer that’s staked to the ground to attract coyotes to our yard so my dad can hunt them. Sorry. Maybe I should blur that?

P.E. Stands for Pink Emblems. When they’re full grown they’ll look like this:

I also grew blew emblems, scarlet O’Haras, tall mixed colors, and white ones. I’ll be excited when they all bloom.

The Seed packs

These are the ones I already started and the following is what they look like now (as well as a few forced daffodils)

Freshly transplanted white morning glory… they’ll never make it through

Forced Daffodil buds & more morning glories! Glorys?

Snowdrops that I didn’t plant. They’re in clusters all over the yard and they’ve always been there.

Scarlet O’Hara peat pots in the bay window

That’s the opossum I met last night while he was a foot away and this is the result of a camera with a dying battery. Sigh…

Pictures I didn’t take but wish I did because my opossum friend is cool even though they are pretty dumb little animals. So darn cute though…

Feeling lost, confused and downtrodden is a little bit like doing cartwheels in the dark.  You have this rush of energy and excitement… adrenaline? but at the same time you can’t see a damn thing, let alone having one solid spot to focus your eyes so you don’t get dizzy.  Instead you are just spinning through the unknown hoping whatever you’re putting your hands down and landing on is going to hold you, catch you and not break you.  That was the thought I had today.  I may not have written this very eloquently but if I ever write a memoir, I’m going to title a chapter Cartwheels in the Dark. I just like the way it sounds.

Today was the first day of non-spring.  I say non-spring because I always grew up with daylight savings on the first day of spring. Now daylight savings comes three weeks before that and it still throws me off.  Today was the first day of daylight savings and I loved it.  I opened work today, and despite getting barely any sleep at all the time-change had NO effect on me.  I didn’t even notice except of course when I got out of work at 3:30pm to find the sun high in the sky and me day dreaming of the beach.

Since it was so nice out I decided I’d get out some of my seed packs and start my peat pots.  My White Morning Glories are doing so well that I think it’s time to start new ones.  It’s way too soon to transplant them outside, especially in New England, but I did it anyway. Time to make room for the new! I bought all different colors of Morning Glory and I planted them all. I took a few pictures to share here… I’ve been feeling so intrinsic lately that it was nice to get grounded and stick my hands in some nice soil.  I really do love the smell of peat pots in spring. (Okay okay it’s not spring it’s just a warm day but whatever!)

I’ll keep you posted how that goes. I went for a drive around my favorite parts of town and got nostalgic and quiet.  I’ve been really quiet the past few days… I think I need it. My brain is finally starting to process things and is stopping the screaming “go go go!!”

Ugh, my camera won’t upload the pictures so I’m going to have to charge the battery and upload later. LAME! 

Sorry guys, I’m hoping the opossum picture comes out too… you’ll think that story is interesting.

I was pleased to find that today’s quote comes from a favored illustrator/author of mine… Beatrix Potter!

“Believe there is a great power silently working all things for good, behave yourself, and never mind the rest.”

- Beatrix Potter

I think it fits.

Amor Fati <3

Let’s get really real for a few shall we? I think we shall.

Realness is the real taste of Coke Zero.

The real… disappointing taste.

THAT’S RIGHT COKE, TAKE THAT COMMERCIAL AND POUND SAND.  Okay seriously though… I’m trying to watch what I eat, and I’m trying to learn how to cook but watching what I drink has always been the hard part. Coke 12-packs by the dozen! Dozens by dozens of Dozens guzzled down and the little fizz making me smile. Ahhh now that’s refreshing.  You know what else is refreshing? Gaining weight. It’s smack you in the face, wish you were dead refreshing.  So, I’m trying to be good. I’ve traded my Classic Coca-Cola for Coke Zero. Does it taste the same? No. Don’t let the commercials fool you. Even from a can Coke Zero tastes like flat Coke but I’ll drink it none the less and pretend it’s ‘the real thing’ because god dammit… I have to.

On a more serious serious note… weight loss is important to me and I cannot believe how ‘lax’ I have been about it. That wasn’t a pun for laxatives… i just have been ridiculously laid back about it. I’m not even trying. The marketing geniuses at Ben & Jerry’s must have gotten word of when my monthly binge-fest happens because they timed their delicious pint sale for that weak monthly moment.  I bought ice cream. I ate ice cream. I regretted both.  Oh well… better luck next month? Wrong! I shouldn’t even buy it and I know better but I do. I will just have to be stronger next time. As far as my medication… that’s right folks I’m actually legally prescribed A PILL THAT WILL MAKE ME LOSE WEIGHT but I haven’t been taking it! Why? Don’t fucking ask me because I don’t know. I should be taking it, I have no reason not to take it. It’s every American Woman’s dream and I just ‘forget’ to take it every day. Dumb. No excuses.

So this is pretty real. I’m pretty freaking lazy and I need to clean up the act. No more Real Coke, No more delicious Ice Cream, no more absent minded medication dismissals.  No more absent minded anything! I need to be conscious of my decisions and although I live 45 minutes away from my gym at the moment I should still be making all good faith attempts at getting there whenever I can.

So that’s my girly rant. About my real girly weight issues and my real lazy actions.  Inactions… whatever. It’s changing. Get ready because I have a cute bikini I need to unveil and a weight ticker I apparently need to reset.

Damn. Damn. Damn. That’s real.

Peace Out Girl Scouts.

Amazon.com – Get the Wish List Browser Button

Amazon has now created the “Universal Wish list” – I’m sure you are all familiar with their wish list on their homepage, but now you can add the button to your internet browser and wherever the world wide web takes you; you can click, click, click and add to your wish list. Amazing! Now I don’t have much use for the wish list, nobody ever asks me what I want but I do add to it pretty regularly should such an occasion arise, I know if any of you are like me… this universal wish list button feature thingy-mabob is amazing and you’ll want it too.

That’s all folks!

It’s an ugly ghost that calls your name

lures you by it’s side at all hours

tells you that you’re pretty and it’s the world that’s ugly.

An apparition that stalks you, and taunts you

tells you all the things you want to hear

the things that make everything else fall away

The ghostly parasite steals your health and vitality

takes away your smiling laughter

your daydreams

seeps toxic waste out of your pores

and buries your humanity.

After the haunting you see the changes

the way the demonic parasite made you feel

the distaste of sensitivity thrown away lingers then…

after your exorcism

But you always return to your demons,

your mass weapons of self destruction

you think they make you feel better

they warm you the way I’m supposed to

But you’re wrong.

Your haunted by right and wrong

at every turn but you keep going back

to shadowy mistress

that steals you away from me.